Trail Worker Gifts

Deer with Crosscut Saw.

Hither and Yon sign

'Don't worry about getting lost, folks. These trails are all well marked. . . if I do say so myself.'

"Yaffle Pass Elevation 11,990 ft Continental Divide"

Nature Lovers

'This Mouse is going to be huge!'

Snails on road - road works 'slow' sign.

'Goodness, the potholes are deep this year, aren't they?'

'Y'know, this wouldn't keep happening if you learned to load your pack properly.'

The next fast train has gone.

"Could I have a Tommy Tippee cup for my friend's beer, as he's been using a concrete breaker all day."

"Fifty quid for a high visibility jacket? Why, that's day-glo robbery."

"It's one mile as the crow flies, ten miles as the lost hiker bushwhacks."

Ticket machine costing an arm and a leg.

Man sees half-eaten 'Do Not Feed the Bears' sign

Man in car sees fallen sign on the hood of his car which says, CAUTION sign-holding road worker falls asleep.

'At least someone can afford to travel by train.'

An old gentleman speaking with a shoeblack at a train station

"They call me the king of railroad salvage - 'they' being my wife, actually."

"Shoulder work ahead"

Do Not Enter and No U Turns

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

Coupler Counselling

Do not pass.

Train Driver Dad's Bedtime Story

The Feng Shui of the road must be off.

"Please mind the gap between the train timetable and reality."

"Hey. . . in use!"

Bear painting signs encouraging people to feed the animals.

Personnel. You did high-tech work in this railroad job? It was a part-time position --- I was a semi-conductor.

'It's so called because I expect the ticket prices to rocket!'

Solution to chuckholes...and have fun, too!

Confusing directions.

NASA realized too late that there was intelligent life on this newly discovered planet.

Slow, Men at Work.