Tragic Comedy Observers Gifts

Hanging Mime - Such a waste of talent.

"Would you relax? They never look up."

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

'This chair ain't big enough for the both of us.'

Death Photobombs a Holiday

''Masterpiece Theater' will not be seen tonight, so that we may bring you 'Slushpile Showplace'....'

"Sorry, I'm not criticizing your driving so much as I'm marvelling that you're still alive."

"Where are the perineums?" "Aisle 3. Between the vaginas and the rectums."

'Because Elvis is FULL of philosophical insights.'

'Don't hop around a mite disconcerted - dive, and writhe in agony!'

Elderly Dating

'How come your notebook has a sudoku puzzle on it?'

Koko's little list

Wild life liberation front take 'live yoghurt' from shop.

'You're new here, aren't you.'

Go over there and say something...

'Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family....in another state....'

"I'd lay off the booze, mate."

"I had to turn that show off. I got tired of waiting."

"i have a premonition that we'll die, so let's just keep things platonic."

Political Partridge in a pear tree spoof.

New York's Only Tragedy Club!

Hare and the tortoise race odds.

'You just had to throw the manual out didn't you? Big man can figure everything out for himself...'

'Weren't you our newspaper carrier years ago?'

'Crystal! You didn't duck and cover! If this wasn't just a drill and I had been a real deranged fan, you'd be soaked in beer right now!'

"I'd like to alter my vows...I want to say 'Til death, or a better prospect comes along, do we part."

Independence Day 2012

"Face it, it was never going to work. I think with the right side of the brain...and you think with the wrong one."

"Hi, honey, I'm homosexual!"

"I'm thinking of having her declawed."

War of the Supermarkets

"Mr Henshaw, how does it feel to be the only person in the country not to have had their fifteen minutes of fame?"

"I liked it better before when we didn't know enough about the Deavers to dislike them."

'I got stuck in the gorging stage of anorexia.'