Tragicomedy Enthusiast Gifts

"i have a premonition that we'll die, so let's just keep things platonic."

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"We're following Carrot Top."

'You can just forget about the cake.'

Cat fishing whilst fish fly overhead.

Another day at work would be one too many...

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

Silence of the Chickens...

Wordplay: Hibernation.

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

"Waiter, there's a weapon of mass destruction in my soup!"

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

"Not now, Oliver."

Emily Dickinson: Mime - "I think she's saying something about death."

"Keep looking. She's here somewhere."

"Scuba cow"

"I said slime."

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.