Comedy Horror Aficionado Gifts

'Thank God for periodontal disease. '

'And then, in a hideous metallic voice it growled 'The Better to Eat You With.' That was the last of Smithwick, the lube boy.'

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"His first out-of-body experience."

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Dog Walking Services

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

Skiing.

"The fish sticks here are very good."

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

Intelligent people laugh too!

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

"I told you playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey was a dumb idea."

Clown throws a bucket of confetti over car at 'Jimbo's carwash'.

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

"We're following Carrot Top."

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

'... And this is my cellar.'

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'