Comedy Horror Lovers Gifts

A Russian nesting doll is implanted with an alien embryo.

Children's Parties

Life is for the birds.

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

Lesser known greek gods,

Hello. I'm Ferdinand. I'll be monitoring the levels of bull at your table this evening. Menu. Menu.

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"I know we just met, but all I got is a twenty-four-hour pass!"

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

'...and so you see our profits, not unlike Sir Isaac Newton, have felt the effects of gravity.'

Tunnel of Love/Lover's Leap.

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

'What's the big deal about acid rain? Can't we just make alkaline rain to counteract it?'

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

"Move ten paces, turn, then fire. Ready?" "Dibs on the hat."

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

"As some of you may have guessed I got yesterday's sunburn factor wrong!"

'Don't worry about getting lost, folks. These trails are all well marked. . . if I do say so myself.'

"My dang neck is killin' me again." "That's because you left your dang hanger in your coat. Again."

A Golden Non-Retriever

'This is a fine time to leave! What if the doctor delivers the baby while you're out!'

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

"Well what does the GPS say?"

How Amazon was invented