Comedy Horror Fan Gifts

"Do you live nearby by any chance? I hate to eat in public."

"Well, that’s a fine how-do-you-do!"

"Halloween's tomorrow, Bob."

Igor's zombie predecessor had a short-lived career assisting Dr. Frankenstein.

Vampire hunter with vampire heads hanging on his wall.

Vampire Hell.

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

"Why do they do that?"

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

Transylvanian backpackers.

Giraffe Umbrella

Help! I'm ROFL and ICGU!

Bad fake tan day.

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

Vlad the Impala

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

A Fairytale Update

If time travel was invented in 1600 in England. I'm a fan of the bard. Let's see if he wants to take a journey through time. Globe Theater. Sounds fun! Let's go to 2020. It's a nice round number. Zazzz! Poof! That's weird. How did they know he was coming? And why does he need to leave this place? Apparently you can't be here, William. The sign says "No Shakespeare in the park this summer."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

"You do realize I'm going to have to bill you for ten?"

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

Silence of the Chickens...

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

Caddie brings his golfer a shovel in the sand trap.