Tragicomedy Enthusiast Pillows

"i have a premonition that we'll die, so let's just keep things platonic."

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

"We're following Carrot Top."

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

'You can just forget about the cake.'

Cat fishing whilst fish fly overhead.

Wordplay: Hibernation.

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

Another day at work would be one too many...

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Silence of the Chickens...

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

Emily Dickinson: Mime - "I think she's saying something about death."

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

"Not now, Oliver."

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

"I said slime."

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

Mayhem, Inc. Part 1: Prologue