Traffic Whiz Gifts

You keep ducking!

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

Dog Crossing

"You keep impeccable time."

New Road Signs to Watch For:

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

The Forever Stamp

Family traits.

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

"Is there a problem officer?"

The password: "C'mon everybody try to remember!"

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

'I flunked English, but I got an A for blogging.'

Santa's a Traffic Reporter during his off season.

Dorothy finds the Yellow brick road is now a 6-lane expressway.

'That's not the speed limit! It's the number of cameras in the area!'

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

Wife doing Internet banking & Online shopping, saying 'Darling, I'm just collecting my pension. Is there anything we need from the shops?'

Child warning mum not to punish her because only she can work the internet

'Officer, I thought road signs were just mere suggestions.'

Another use for retired sumo wrestlers: Roundabout ahead.

"These self-honking cars make it so much easier to focus on driving."

'Well you know what they say 'here today gone tomorrow' or in the case of dotcoms, 'here today gone shortly after lunch.'

"Yes, my automatic starter has the technology to start your car as well. I'll show you. Honey! Go start her car!"

"Always wondered what happened if you tried to drive through without a card."

Road signs.

"I spend so much time in traffic, I turned my car into a mobile office."

"I realise children are learning to use computers at an early age, but this is outrageous!"

Ed makes his small but vital contribution to the world's daily crude production.