Traffic Wizard Gifts

"Dear me, no license, no tax, no safety belt, no..."

Thru versus Through Traffic

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'

The inhabitants of the jungle get tied up in rush hour traffic.

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

Dog Crossing

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

New Road Signs to Watch For:

'I think we took a wrong turn between the seventh and eight holes.'

'It's not meant to be a fold up bike, but the truck driver I held up for seven miles thought otherwise.'

Commutobile

'I beat the 5 o'clock rush... I leave work at noon!'

Lanes Closed for the Hell of It

"When the slowest car in the fast lane don't go any slower than the fastest car in the slow lane."

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

One way only.

Lot for people who don't know how to park.

The Forever Stamp

Family traits.

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

'Guess they're still fixing the street.'

A doorman fires a gun into the air.

"If find people express themslves more freely in traffic jams."

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

Santa's a Traffic Reporter during his off season.

Have Horns Venn

'Mostly we just block traffic.'

'Ahh...I see you travelling far and wide on a long fruitless mission but you still can't find a town centre parking space this Christmas...'