Driving Whiz Gifts

Learner driver practices on a treadmill.

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

The first car accident.

"You keep impeccable time."

"G.P.S. FOR GUYS"

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

Math Teacher

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

"The hardest to convert are inches to centimeters."

You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it.

The Invention of the Wheel

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

Free Printer with Purchase of Ink

Man on a unicycle trying to guard credit from nasty 'Bankruptcy'.

'I need both hands for steering.'

"I'm recommending more video games. I'm worried about his hand eye coordination."

'I cam for your obsolete operating system.'

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

'This is just the first step -- next, I invent the Teamsters' Union!'

'Hey! -- I invented that, too!', 'It's that nut Al-Gor again.'

Millipede motorist

First Speeding Fine.

'Of course you're all for animal testing. You always get straight A's.'

Exit 89. Why don't you ask for directions? You're no roads scholar!

"Bangin’ rims. Sears?"

Gretchen encounters the mother of all SAT questions.

"Be rational."

"Nah...not really...he's only won one game!" (Clever dog).

'And this is where we attempt to forecast the true size of the spending cuts!'

'Excellent Hoskins, you've got all the right numbers, now shall we see if you can put them in the right order?'

"Maybe we should stop making them on a hill."

'Here's your problem. You're using third-generation software but you're a first-generation computer user.'

"Yes, my automatic starter has the technology to start your car as well. I'll show you. Honey! Go start her car!"

'Ugh! I TOLD Thak it needed balancing!'

"The last one to The Four Seasons picks up the check."