Traffic Warden Humor Gifts

"That wheel clamper's still following us!"

Push for Disco...

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

'It's a slow trap.'

"Ma'am, do you realize how fast you were... going?"

"Hey! Buddy! This is an interdimensional 4/3π way stop!"

Give Way To Cyclists

Speed laws occasionally enforced.

Speed bump in honor of JD Yomp 1866-1957 - Inventor of Asphalt.

'Harold, your right turn signal is still 'on'.'

"So this is the secret to the start of labour!"

Toad roadkill.

A license plate that reads LIC-PLT

'We learned one thing today - NO parking on the yellow lions!'

"Move over, pardner, yer ridin' in the horsepool lane!"

Bumper sticker reads: 'I'd rather be text messaging.'

Snail Crossing.

Visual Gag: Caution Goose Bump

"The worst mimes are those who pretend to wash your windshield, yet expect to get paid."

'Look on the bright side, Officer, I've reduced the electrical consumption of an entire neighborhood.'

Move to Arizona.

'I wasn't walking, officer. I was jogging.'

"Over the speed limit, are you sure?"

'Not so hard on the braking, Mrs. Buggins!'

'Mr. Evans, it's a speeding ticket. You can't pleas insanity.'

"The test calls for a pirouette, sir. Arabesques don't really tell us enough."

Digital Communication.

Car driver in bus lane: 'But I am a bus driver officer, it's my day off.'

Desert crawler sees cactus holding speed camera.

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

'There's a delay on the expressway: A truck loaded with peanut butter is spread across three lanes causing a traffic jam.'

'Ultra High Occupancy Lane, 300 Persons per Car.'