Traffic Controller Humorist Gifts

'Last week he hit a speed bump.'

Push for Disco...

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

'It's a slow trap.'

"Ma'am, do you realize how fast you were... going?"

"Hey! Buddy! This is an interdimensional 4/3π way stop!"

Give Way To Cyclists

Man with Stop Signs.

Speed laws occasionally enforced.

Speed bump in honor of JD Yomp 1866-1957 - Inventor of Asphalt.

'Harold, your right turn signal is still 'on'.'

Santa's Near Miss

Toad roadkill.

'We learned one thing today - NO parking on the yellow lions!'

Snail Crossing.

A license plate that reads LIC-PLT

"It was due to ice!. . . Yes, I dropped my popsicle in my lap!"

Bumper sticker reads: 'I'd rather be text messaging.'

Visual Gag: Caution Goose Bump

"Move over, pardner, yer ridin' in the horsepool lane!"

'Look on the bright side, Officer, I've reduced the electrical consumption of an entire neighborhood.'

Move to Arizona.

'I wasn't walking, officer. I was jogging.'

"Over the speed limit, are you sure?"

'Not so hard on the braking, Mrs. Buggins!'

"The test calls for a pirouette, sir. Arabesques don't really tell us enough."

Digital Communication.

"Where's the red cape, pal?"

Car driver in bus lane: 'But I am a bus driver officer, it's my day off.'

Bus Lane - Fire Lane - Pizza Lane

'There's a delay on the expressway: A truck loaded with peanut butter is spread across three lanes causing a traffic jam.'

Desert crawler sees cactus holding speed camera.

'Ultra High Occupancy Lane, 300 Persons per Car.'

Speed Limit 5 MPH. Enforced by Goats.

Cars and Bed of Nails