Air Traffic Controller Humor Gifts

Santa's Near Miss

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

Employee of the Month Parking

'Mom! Do they have traffic lights and stop signs in the sky?'

"It's my helper trout!"

Santa knows he has to be more careful. One more accident due to pilot error, and the FAA would take away his pilot's license for good.

'And don't be afraid to ask for directions.'

Vampire on a plane

Two airplanes

"I'll put this device onto flight mode when you put this plane onto flight mode."

Jack in the Box Oxygen Mask

'I work at the airport.'

'The best part is being able to fly without taking off your shoes.'

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

'Steady,...not yet,...hold your positions.'

Volcanic ash...

Christmas Flights

"O.K., you're good. Next!"

Emergency Slide Height Limit.

Cow Pilot.

"There is no air conditioning in the luggage compartment so stand up straight and stop licking your nose!"

OOPS!

"I know it's a pie in the sky, Henshaw, but from a career perspective point of view we'll log it in as 'unidentified small aircraft'."

"You idiot. How many times have I told you not to text while flying?"

"Here comes the airplane--once it gets clearance from the tower, which should be in another 45 minutes. Thank you for your patience."

'Hello, this is your captain speaking... I'm on the next flight!'

'Here comes the in-flight meal.'

"Student driver"

"Who wants to go first?"

"My landing gear won't come down. I have a cramp."

'Captain, a passenger says there's a gremlin out on the wing of the plane.'

"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."

'The flight took off here...Then there's a big question mark over what happened next!'

Delayed Departure and Late Arrivals

A signaller directing pallbearers