Traffic Controller's Delight Gifts

"...Says he's done his 4.5 hours driving and won't budge for another 45 minutes!"

Thru versus Through Traffic

Quality Control

New Road Signs to Watch For:

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

Stop, Smell Roses (stop and smell the roses)

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

'Mom! Do they have traffic lights and stop signs in the sky?'

Car leaving highway crashes through 'EXIT HERE' sign.

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

'This is just a routine check, sir - who did you vote for in the last election?'

"Oh look, that police car is chasing someone! Let me get out of his way. Hmm...he's still behind me. Let me move... That's odd....he's still behind me. I'll move over another lane."

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

'Oh no a speed camera.'

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

"Do you know why I pulled you over? Do you? Do you? Yes, you do."

'Great! Now we're getting pulled over! I TOLD you that was a lint trap back there, but did you listen? Noooo!'

'It's a slow trap.'

'Squint your eyes and grit your teeth so I can make sure it's you.'

"I'd like to give you a break, but we did have you doing a hundred and eighty-six thousand miles a second on the radar."

Snail crossing

"If this car is so smart, why didn't it let me know there was a cop there?"

'Driving without a flag?'

Grim reaper ambulance

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

Halloween health & safety.

You observed me speeding? Are you familiar with the Heisenberg uncertainty principle?

'This is your third speeding ticket in a week. Sure your horse didn't get into some genetically modified hay?'