Traffic Planners Gifts

"You just invented the traffic jam!"

Thru versus Through Traffic

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

Quality Control

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

New Road Signs to Watch For:

Dog Crossing

Three lanes of traffic with the first two lanes crowded with turtles. The third lane (to the left) a couple rabbits speeding along without any traffic. An easy pass sign has carrots replacing dollars.

'Someone's got to do something about these pot-holes!'

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

Walk or don't. You're a grown man. Make your own decisions.

Monday: Next 7 exits.

Through Traffic Keep Left/We're Through Traffic Keep Right

Street signs you don't want to see.

"When the slowest car in the fast lane don't go any slower than the fastest car in the slow lane."

"Why is it every time I need to go somewhere, the driverless car is taking itself for a spin?"

"I'm pretty sure my self-driving car is moonlighting for Uber behind my back."

Traffic Management Strategic Group

"Remember, if we get split up, take the A to 42nd, transfer to the Brooklyn bound 2, get off at Eastern parkway and buy a ticket for the Brooklyn Museum and make sure to tell them you're under three."

Car leaving highway crashes through 'EXIT HERE' sign.

"'COST: shedloads, COMPLETION DATE: God knows.' Perhaps you'd care to flesh out some details for us."

Tolls: Must have exact change and tails up.

Family traits.

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

Motorway Madness And Urban Roadrage Directions

Car Emissions

HS2

Speed bump in honor of JD Yomp 1866 - 1957...inventor of Asphalt

"You've got to be kidding. I finally start getting the hang of those traffic circles, and now this!"

Driver sees road sign: 'Right Lane Doomed'

"The cost of HS2 was 115 billion, but that was when we started the interview. It's 130 now!"

"Being a crossing guard for a squirrel is exhausting!"

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'