Traffic Coordinator Gifts

Expect delays.

'At 11:35 it's the SLOW sign. At 11:39, the STOP sign. At 11:43 it's back to the SLOW sign. At 11:49 you break for lunch. At 1:00 it's the STOP sign...'

'We can improve our patrol allocation,'

Summer Road Work

"Someone's screwed up. . . there's apiece of road here no-one's working on!"

Thru versus Through Traffic

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

Please Drove Carefully.

Dog Crossing

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

Three lanes of traffic with the first two lanes crowded with turtles. The third lane (to the left) a couple rabbits speeding along without any traffic. An easy pass sign has carrots replacing dollars.

'Someone's got to do something about these pot-holes!'

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

Walk or don't. You're a grown man. Make your own decisions.

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

No jay walking.

Stop, Smell Roses (stop and smell the roses)

Through Traffic Keep Left/We're Through Traffic Keep Right

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

Street signs you don't want to see.

"When the slowest car in the fast lane don't go any slower than the fastest car in the slow lane."

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

Traffic Management Strategic Group

One way only.

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

"For pity's sake, George - stop tooting and ask for directions!"

Car leaving highway crashes through 'EXIT HERE' sign.

"I told you we'd be better off taking Canal."

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

'Mom! Do they have traffic lights and stop signs in the sky?'

Tolls: Must have exact change and tails up.

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."