Traffic Captain Gifts

'It never fails: The shortest distance between two points is always under construction.'

Thru versus Through Traffic

Please Drove Carefully.

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

Dog Crossing

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

No jay walking.

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

Street signs you don't want to see.

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

One way only.

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

Car leaving highway crashes through 'EXIT HERE' sign.

'Mom! Do they have traffic lights and stop signs in the sky?'

Family traits.

"Please forward all my tickets to the auto manufacturer who made this self-driving car."

The Forever Stamp

"I told you we'd be better off taking Canal."

"For pity's sake, George - stop tooting and ask for directions!"

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

"I've got a wall I need to get to, officer."

"Coffee...Cigarettes...Bubble gum..."

'Where's the circus, buddy?'

"No, officer, I don' t know how fast I was driving. I had my head sticking out of the window."

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

'This is just a routine check, sir - who did you vote for in the last election?'