Traffic Cops Gifts

"I didn't say, 'Simon says.'"

"Just accept the ticket and let's go. The hot dog's getting cold."

No Parking in Firelane.

'How tragic. Poor bugger must have fallen asleep at the wheel.'

"Your footage makes us dizzy so we're taking back your body camera, Officer Dancing Traffic Cop."

'Whoa - you're not murdering anybody today until you get your seat belt on, mister backseat psychopath!'

"Where's the fire, pal?"

Thru versus Through Traffic

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

Please Drove Carefully.

Dog Crossing

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

Stop, Smell Roses (stop and smell the roses)

No jay walking.

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

Street signs you don't want to see.

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

One way only.

Family traits.

"For pity's sake, George - stop tooting and ask for directions!"

'Mom! Do they have traffic lights and stop signs in the sky?'

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

"Please forward all my tickets to the auto manufacturer who made this self-driving car."

"I told you we'd be better off taking Canal."

Los Angeles' New Smart Meters

Car leaving highway crashes through 'EXIT HERE' sign.

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'