Traffic Troopers Gifts

"You car pool guys will be going down together for x-rays."

Please Drove Carefully.

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

Dog Crossing

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

No jay walking.

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

Street signs you don't want to see.

Lanes Closed for the Hell of It

"Serenity's cool and all, but when do we get to bliss?"

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

One way only.

Car leaving highway crashes through 'EXIT HERE' sign.

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

Family traits.

'Mom! Do they have traffic lights and stop signs in the sky?'

"Please forward all my tickets to the auto manufacturer who made this self-driving car."

"I told you we'd be better off taking Canal."

"For pity's sake, George - stop tooting and ask for directions!"

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

"Being a crossing guard for a squirrel is exhausting!"

"I've got a wall I need to get to, officer."

'Where's the circus, buddy?'

"Coffee...Cigarettes...Bubble gum..."

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

"No, officer, I don' t know how fast I was driving. I had my head sticking out of the window."

'This is just a routine check, sir - who did you vote for in the last election?'