Traffic Captain T-Shirts

'It never fails: The shortest distance between two points is always under construction.'

Thru versus Through Traffic

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

Please Drove Carefully.

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

Dog Crossing

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

No jay walking.

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

Street signs you don't want to see.

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

One way only.

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

"For pity's sake, George - stop tooting and ask for directions!"

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

Car leaving highway crashes through 'EXIT HERE' sign.

'Mom! Do they have traffic lights and stop signs in the sky?'

The Forever Stamp

"I told you we'd be better off taking Canal."

Family traits.

"Please forward all my tickets to the auto manufacturer who made this self-driving car."

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

"No, officer, I don' t know how fast I was driving. I had my head sticking out of the window."

'Where's the circus, buddy?'

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

"Oh look, that police car is chasing someone! Let me get out of his way. Hmm...he's still behind me. Let me move... That's odd....he's still behind me. I'll move over another lane."

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

'This is just a routine check, sir - who did you vote for in the last election?'

"Coffee...Cigarettes...Bubble gum..."