Traffic Policeman T-Shirts

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

'Merry Christmas.'

'Can you hang on a sec - I'm on the phone.'

'Why, how sweet of you! -- a ticket to what?'

"Would you please remove your license from your collar?"

Ten minutes later, the rescue helicopter landed...

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

Please Drove Carefully.

Dog Crossing

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

Stop, Smell Roses (stop and smell the roses)

No jay walking.

"Careful."

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

Street signs you don't want to see.

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

One way only.

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

'Mom! Do they have traffic lights and stop signs in the sky?'

"Please forward all my tickets to the auto manufacturer who made this self-driving car."

Los Angeles' New Smart Meters

"For pity's sake, George - stop tooting and ask for directions!"

Family traits.

Car leaving highway crashes through 'EXIT HERE' sign.

"I told you we'd be better off taking Canal."

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

'This is just a routine check, sir - who did you vote for in the last election?'