Traffic Detective T-Shirts

'Caution! This vehicle makes frequent unexpected stops.'

"If you look at Lexington Avenue, it is anyone's guess what's happening on the 6 train. Moving on to Broadway, I can tell you that the N and R Lines may or may not be running smoothly, while the Eighth Avenue A and C are, as always, a complete mystery."

"This is nothing. You should have been with us last year at Fifty-third and Lex."

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

Please Drove Carefully.

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

Dog Crossing

'Can you see what's causing the hold up?'

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

No jay walking.

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

Street signs you don't want to see.

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

One way only.

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

"For pity's sake, George - stop tooting and ask for directions!"

Car leaving highway crashes through 'EXIT HERE' sign.

'Mom! Do they have traffic lights and stop signs in the sky?'

Family traits.

"Please forward all my tickets to the auto manufacturer who made this self-driving car."

"I told you we'd be better off taking Canal."

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

"Coffee...Cigarettes...Bubble gum..."

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

'Where's the circus, buddy?'

"No, officer, I don' t know how fast I was driving. I had my head sticking out of the window."

"Oh look, that police car is chasing someone! Let me get out of his way. Hmm...he's still behind me. Let me move... That's odd....he's still behind me. I'll move over another lane."

'This is just a routine check, sir - who did you vote for in the last election?'