Traffic Detective Gifts

'Caution! This vehicle makes frequent unexpected stops.'

"If you look at Lexington Avenue, it is anyone's guess what's happening on the 6 train. Moving on to Broadway, I can tell you that the N and R Lines may or may not be running smoothly, while the Eighth Avenue A and C are, as always, a complete mystery."

"This is nothing. You should have been with us last year at Fifty-third and Lex."

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

Please Drove Carefully.

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

'Can you see what's causing the hold up?'

Dog Crossing

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

No jay walking.

Street signs you don't want to see.

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

One way only.

"I told you we'd be better off taking Canal."

"For pity's sake, George - stop tooting and ask for directions!"

'Mom! Do they have traffic lights and stop signs in the sky?'

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

Family traits.

"Please forward all my tickets to the auto manufacturer who made this self-driving car."

Car leaving highway crashes through 'EXIT HERE' sign.

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

"No, officer, I don' t know how fast I was driving. I had my head sticking out of the window."

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

'This is just a routine check, sir - who did you vote for in the last election?'

'Where's the circus, buddy?'

"I've got a wall I need to get to, officer."

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'