Traffic Light Ponderer Gifts

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

"What's an imagination? It was something kids used to enjoy before they invented video games."

Traffic Management Strategic Group

"All I take anymore is mushrooms for my anxiety, ketamine for my depression, and ibuprofen for the goblins constantly eating my feet."

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

'As you know, some of us can't keep up with the pace of new technology.'

Progress?

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

'Jerry, The Hermans take the same pharmaceuticals we do!'

"Of course it sends your message digitally. If you want analogue we'll have to saddle up old Bessie."

Are you aware? The Higgs Boson was thought to exist even through no one had seen it!

Walk, Don't Walk, Laugh.

-You need a permit to fish here. -I'm doing okay with a worm, thank you

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

"To cross street, push button, wait for walk signal, wait, wait some more."

Cat taunts dog at intersection.

Dr. McPhee discovers the Embarrassment Particle.

'It seems like a good invention now, but someday there'll be millions of these things, all crashing into each other.'

CREEPY AF AI

The mysterious world of ligand substitution

'Is it me or do these new led street lights wash out the reds and yellows?'

"My basic judicial philosophy is 'Guilty.'"

"Hey, way to go! You invented both the disease AND the cure!"

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

"A few more light-years?!! That's what you said 15 minutes ago, Dad!"

Physicists at the Fourth Grotschlov Conference assembled to determine once and for all if light is a wave or a particle.

'Are you a hypochondriac who has everything but your regular placebo isn't doing the job? Talk to your doctor about the new extra-strength placebo.'

"Hello! - Have you ever thought about changing your energy supplier..?"

"We need a product that works like aspirin, but is a lot more expensive to buy."

Pedestrian crossing signal - 'Ready when you are'.

'Sorry, but the reality is, even your wind turbine needs to be oiled.'

'Will this make me feel as happy as the people in the commercial?'

Enter Exit - Circle of Life.

Physicist Frank Bartholomew gets a big, BIG break in his search for the ever-elusive neutrino.

"I can remember when all we needed was someone who could carve and someone who could sew."