Traffic Light Philosopher Gifts

'It's green, you color-blind, flea-bitten bonehead! Where'd you learn to drive?'

Traffic Lights: Stop-HURRY!

"To cross street, push button, wait for walk signal, wait, wait some more."

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

Yes, That Was The Exit

'If mum's not around, amber means...pedal to the metal, baby!'

Traffic Management Strategic Group

"If find people express themslves more freely in traffic jams."

'Sorry, pastor, your soul's grace period is eternity, your car's is six minutes.'

Lane restricted to cars with three or more persons at least one of whom is a woman or visible minority.

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

Walk, Don't Walk, Laugh.

"For your information, officer, I was not ‘texting’ – I was reviewing candidate applications for fellowship grants!"

Traffic Lights Medicine

"I would have been driven out of my mind if the lanes hadn't been closed."

'For Heaven's sake, Charlotte! Relax! We're on holiday!'

"So this is the secret to the start of labour!"

Pedestrian crossing signal - 'Ready when you are'.

Parking Yesterday, Parking Tomorrow, But Never Parking Today.

Twisted Peel has a bout of road rage.

'Try not to smile, sir. Imagine you're looking for a parking space.'

It was so quiet in town the residents took to taking chairs to the corner so they could watch the traffic lights change.

Self-Reflecting Pool

"I just want to express more GO!"

Roadwork ahead: Proceed cautiously and from love rather than negativity.

Quality Control in the Traffic Light Department - "Red, Amber, Green.. Red Amber.. "

Hollywood - Exit Stage Left.

"Not only do we not know how to turn it off, we also don't know how to dispose of it when it burns out."

'We're stuck - it's been amber for ages.'

"What colour will it be next? You can't say that!"

Huge traffic jam:Sign reads 'Debate on road pricing, next exit'.

"It was green when I went through it."

Walk/Don't Walk/Laugh

'How bad can hell be? At least the road to there is paved!'

The Insanity Plea.