Traditionalist Scribe Gifts

The Grave of the Manuscript

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

"It's publish or perish, and he hasn't published."

Script/Director/Producer/Decency Panel.

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

Old Book Smell

The Last Non E-Book In The World.

Monks sitting at a row of computers typing up old-fashioned looking manuscripts.

Waiting Room For Godot.

"Jose Rivera, who wrote the screenplay for 'The Motorcycle Diaries,' is the first Puerto Rican screenwriter to be nominated for an Oscar. He's known for incorporating his life experiences into his award-winning writing."

"Regarding your letter of next Monday ... "

Dame Edna Sitwell

'Are you sure this is the only way to get rid of your writers block?'

'I still write all my novels longhand.'

Computer literate Monk

"Tests! That's one thing I don't like about the end of school. I can't believe it! You're not finished studying, either?"

'We have the ideas for product placement and now all we need is the script.'

And as the sun sets over the hills...

'Sorry, your resume isn't funny enough.'

'How long have you been submitting novels, Grandad?'

"Listen, you'll take another break after Deuteronomy and I'll make you some chicken noodle soup."

"I would take out the curse words, but otherwise I think it's fine."

Monks form copier service.

'Hold the front page, Brother Cuthbert!'

Writers strike.

"That's the only letter you received in the mail. Kids no longer write letters. They email or text."

"He calls it the eBible."

'Your story is extremely sexist, dubious and dumb, the characters are one-dimensional and primitive. In other words - you wrote a bestseller, mister!'

Monk writing the scriptures on a roll

Monk on PC.

"Polishing my mouse just doesn't have the same calming effect as sharpening my pencil."

"Philosopical argument needs an elephant in the room. Can you handle it, sweetie?"