Traditionalist Humor Lover Gifts

"A dying breed since the introduction of those electronic cigarettes."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

WW2 fighter pilot with emoji kills

"Er – if you young people don't mind, I have a few things to do now. Perhaps you have a hotel or somewhere to go?"

Crap from the future.

"Oooh, I know what I want to be when I grow up: Retired!"

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'

Two men toting a dog in a carriage by foot, while the dog sticks his head out the window.

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

"Call this an iceberg? When I was a kid we wouldn't have called this an iceburg!"

"He reports to Grand Central Palace tomorrow."

The Monroe Doctrine

"Ah...summer...and umbrellas as far as you can see...it reminds me of England!"

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Moscow 1917

Honest Voting Stickers

Before disposing of useless information please make file copies.

Evil Henchman Gets a Promotion.

Think tanks.

Suggestions and Cheap Shots.

Peter Cook

Only in America

Our large economy size packet hasn't been selling...it's too big to carry home.

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"

'...and do you solemnly swear to update your facebook status to 'married'?'

"It's not so much a minivan as it is a hearse for our youth."

Police Lineup Escape

'For donating half my property to the poor, I'll get the 'Unselfish Millionaire of the Year' medal and a supporting receipt for my allowable expenses!'

Spying Smart TV

"I'm resigning so I can spend more time with my wonderful family, here."

Euro Collapse

"Welcome to Alabama. Pro-life at birth; not so much after that."

Dollars Press Conference