Traditionalist Humor Fan Gifts

'Did you hear they fired Jake? He was caught using e-mail.'

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"Bonk!"

'Sigh! So that's what love is all about...'

"Perhaps it wasn't so wise to bring Frosty along!"

"Call this an iceberg? When I was a kid we wouldn't have called this an iceburg!"

'You must have misunderstood, dear -- I'm sure they don't sell old generals at government auctions!'

"It's time you had those dinosaur hips replaced."

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

Young costermonger trying to sell to a gentleman.

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"

'Yes, the colours are wonderful. But he only does five pages per month, and he doesn't support PostScript.'

"You ever get the feeling the posse's starting to lose focus?"

'...please switch of all mobile phones, paging devices and alarm watches...'

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

Trump to Build Wall

"Hey! I was trained in 1948 and was good enough for then, so it's good enough for now....whipper-snapper!"

Shakspeare a little altered. - 'He lived not wisely, but too well.'

'The MCC celebrate a famous victory' group of dodgy looking old English men holding drinking glasses

'Now, Mrs Althorpe, if you think you see the man who assaulted you, we just want you to touch him on the shoulder.' (Mrs Althorpe beats a man up and then says she doesn't recognise any of them)

"This is all so ARBITRARY!"

"Keep an eye on Old Bound Volume of Harpers. He's on the make."

'This is the Rabbi's favourite.'

Its a poor heart that never rejoices

Alpine Pipe

Old Martin Chuzzlewit Suspects the Landlady without Reason

"Oh my god, you guys, a puppy!"

Sisyphus, 117 million years on

"When I was young I had to walk 100 miles for a charge. . ."

1839: Rare photograph of wagons on the 'Organ Trail.'

"I'd like to donate my body to comedy."

'I like a man in a suit.'