Old-school Humor Enthusiast Gifts

Passages in the Life of a Volunteer

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

"Er – if you young people don't mind, I have a few things to do now. Perhaps you have a hotel or somewhere to go?"

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

You can't get what up

"He reports to Grand Central Palace tomorrow."

'I hunt and I gather. I invented multitasking.'

'You must have misunderstood, dear -- I'm sure they don't sell old generals at government auctions!'

"They got me for pillaging. How about you?"

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

'...please switch of all mobile phones, paging devices and alarm watches...'

"We brought him into oversee our millennium menu...he did such a good job on the last one"

The Enemy

"I hate to sound like a sergeant, Ralph, but it's ten minutes to six."

A man selling a horse to an older lady

'Too cheap to buy me real flowers, huh?'

Washington Crossing the Delaware, Having Been Invited to Join the Faculty at Princeton

'Don't believe everything you read.'

Fun on the pyramids

"No, now all of out pillaging is done electronically from a centralized office."

'See? I've got a rock AND a stick! -- I've invented MULTITASKING!'

"Keep an eye on Old Bound Volume of Harpers. He's on the make."

'My mom invented baths!'

"I'd like to donate my body to comedy."

The Height of Impudence.

'Rona Lisa

The hangman's badinage

Mother Hubbard 2011

Thatcher's child

A rake jumps from a window onto a horse

"What a pity! Mr Grogan took it on the lam not more than five minutes ago."

"The battle for the living room war about to heat up."

Not what he meant.

Jackie Gleason's Old Desk: Trays read: InOutPow, right in the kisser.