Tourist Trapper Gifts

"Someone switched off the freezer...it's melted."

'Gack! Good lord! This is fresh water taffy!'

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'We might make more progress if we try working as a team.'

I love Museum Shops

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

"So, then, I guess the Johnsons are feeding our clothes."

Unrest Area.

"I've got a better view on my smart phone."

"Didn't read the book, missed the movie, but I've been to the theme park."

'But, I have only one item of hand-luggage... You can't charge me extra...'

"Sorry, y'all — no locals. This is a tourists-only bar."

Musician's Fishing Trip

'Hey,that wasn't there yesterday,let's go check it out.'

'Hello, Ralph? Come on over and bring a ladder, I have one up a tree.'

"I was sick - sick in Hawaii."

Bagging the Chipmunk

Nights in Bath

"Lately, I've mainly been using selfie traps."

"We saw the Great Wall and lots of pagodas, and I have a transplanted stomach."

"Forty years in this business and you suddenly decide you don't like gimmicky?"

A magician sees his suitcase with swords in it on the luggage conveyor belt.

Animal Hats

Hubert deeply regretted his wish that his train would arrive on time.

Animal intelligence: 'They are clever creatures...but not that clever.'

Visitor to a Landmark Tavern

The voyageur's debate over which is the most profitable trade route to use ends in a compromise.

'Damned tourists.'

"I think your Arabic is coming along fine for your trip to Casablanca, with or without the Humphrey Bogart impression."

Professional Grade Cargo Shorts

'The tracks are getting fresher. He's close by.'

Airline Charges