Tourist Trap Escapist Gifts

"Let's go someplace awful to avoid the tourists."

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Holiday time.

'I love our hideaway. I only wish we could find it.'

Desert Island BBQ

Ice fisher.

He can lean back in contentment on cowslip banks and let everything wash over him.

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

Crowded Ice Fishing

Fish swimming by fishermen's feet - 'This looks like a safe place.'

'See you in two weeks!'

"We should have done more to bring all the things we were trying to get away from."

"Let's go back to our cabana, get into bed and shop online."

Man fishing while aliens invade.

"Didn't read the book, missed the movie, but I've been to the theme park."

"To think—this meeting, which turned into the perfect day, filled with spontaneous adventures that will become priceless memories, could have been an e-mail."

"Someone switched off the freezer...it's melted."

'You said you were going to put gas in the RV, and then come right back. You've been gone for a year. Care to explain?'

Blowing up the camping mattress.

Contestants defeated in the ring toss competition head back to the hotel to recharge for a late night nude hot tub partying and 'bootie shakin' erotic cage fetish dancing.

"But honey, I've spent my last 30 years pretending to look busy. I can't quit overnight."

'Now don't forget, polar bears can be sneaky buggers.'

'Great escapism, Reverend!'

Magic and Rainbows Escape from Book.

"Sorry, y'all — no locals. This is a tourists-only bar."

The Wet Fly Man is a more active creature.

'Come back and get me about noon.'

"He's in a far better place. It's always nice to spend the winter in Miami."

'Good morning, Ginger! -- Good morning, Mary Ann!'

"Forty years in this business and you suddenly decide you don't like gimmicky?"

'I loved the great outdoors too, however in 2006, I got hooked on tranquilizer darts and here I am!'