Tourist Trapper T-Shirts

"Someone switched off the freezer...it's melted."

'Gack! Good lord! This is fresh water taffy!'

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'We might make more progress if we try working as a team.'

Snowmen Around The World...

Devil's Tower Park. Ernie, this nice ranger has offered to show us the basement gift shop.

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

I love Museum Shops

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

"So, then, I guess the Johnsons are feeding our clothes."

Unrest Area.

"I've got a better view on my smart phone."

"Didn't read the book, missed the movie, but I've been to the theme park."

'But, I have only one item of hand-luggage... You can't charge me extra...'

"Sorry, y'all — no locals. This is a tourists-only bar."

Musician's Fishing Trip

'No sir, we're not boarding a flight. My teacher just needs to check my homework in my my dog Sam here, if it wouldn't be too much trouble.'

'Hello, Ralph? Come on over and bring a ladder, I have one up a tree.'

Bagging the Chipmunk

'Hey,that wasn't there yesterday,let's go check it out.'

"I was sick - sick in Hawaii."

"Will you read me the part of that pamphlet about the drive-through redwoods again?"

"Forty years in this business and you suddenly decide you don't like gimmicky?"

A magician sees his suitcase with swords in it on the luggage conveyor belt.

"Lately, I've mainly been using selfie traps."

"We saw the Great Wall and lots of pagodas, and I have a transplanted stomach."

Nights in Bath

Animal Hats

Hubert deeply regretted his wish that his train would arrive on time.

The voyageur's debate over which is the most profitable trade route to use ends in a compromise.

Visitor to a Landmark Tavern

Animal intelligence: 'They are clever creatures...but not that clever.'

'Damned tourists.'

"I think your Arabic is coming along fine for your trip to Casablanca, with or without the Humphrey Bogart impression."

Professional Grade Cargo Shorts