Tourist Trap Finders T-Shirts

"You didn't say 'cheese'!"

I love Museum Shops

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

"Didn't read the book, missed the movie, but I've been to the theme park."

"Someone switched off the freezer...it's melted."

Product Testing Department

Cat reaching his paw into a mouse hole that is rigged with a guillotine; the mouse has many taxidermy cat paws displayed on his wall

"Sorry, y'all — no locals. This is a tourists-only bar."

'Jam roly-poly, treacle tart, ice cream... We're in luck, it's a dessert island.'

Monster Buskers

"Well Inspector - that little trap you set seems to have worked!"

"Forty years in this business and you suddenly decide you don't like gimmicky?"

'Have fun, but be careful - those things are loaded with nones, keys and loose change.'

'It's gotta be a trap.'

'Damned tourists.'

"It works smart, while we work hard."

Rockets in Bath.

'Modern technology being what it is, there's a good chance it won't work anyway.'

Model Upstairs

'Gack! Good lord! This is fresh water taffy!'

How well the trap works and how compelling the bait is

Scenic Rout

Butter Trap

"Let's go someplace awful to avoid the tourists."

The Cornucopia Trap

"Careful, Carruthers, it could be a booby trap!"

Miniature Railway: Closed for Miniature Engineering Works.

"Take your photos now folks, we can't get too close..."

"This has been fun, Hank, but let's not forget that the bus back to the city leaves in fifteen minutes."

Excess Baggage: Many people who go on cruise vacations insist on a cabin with an ocean view.

"It's 1:1,000th scale."

'Boy, you're lucky it's the same leg as last time...'

Vanishing London Tour - cash in advance.