Tourist Trap Adventurer T-Shirts

'You mean this isn't a medieval themed restaurant?'

Holiday time.

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster have some fun with the tourists...

"Boy, that's what I call a maze."

My parents ate New York and all I got was this stupid t-shirt

"Didn't you just say that?"

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

Devil's Tower Park. Ernie, this nice ranger has offered to show us the basement gift shop.

I love Museum Shops

Unrest Area.

"Didn't read the book, missed the movie, but I've been to the theme park."

"So, then, I guess the Johnsons are feeding our clothes."

'But, I have only one item of hand-luggage... You can't charge me extra...'

"Someone switched off the freezer...it's melted."

Easter Island Tours. Theories differ. Ernie believes they were used to display a selection of giant wigs.

Product Testing Department

"Sorry, y'all — no locals. This is a tourists-only bar."

Cat reaching his paw into a mouse hole that is rigged with a guillotine; the mouse has many taxidermy cat paws displayed on his wall

'No sir, we're not boarding a flight. My teacher just needs to check my homework in my my dog Sam here, if it wouldn't be too much trouble.'

"I was sick - sick in Hawaii."

"Will you read me the part of that pamphlet about the drive-through redwoods again?"

A magician sees his suitcase with swords in it on the luggage conveyor belt.

Nights in Bath

"Forty years in this business and you suddenly decide you don't like gimmicky?"

"We saw the Great Wall and lots of pagodas, and I have a transplanted stomach."

"Waste of money, I've been here 200 years and never yet seen a monster."

Hubert deeply regretted his wish that his train would arrive on time.

'Natural bridge'

"Yes, it's that way."

'Damned tourists.'

"I think your Arabic is coming along fine for your trip to Casablanca, with or without the Humphrey Bogart impression."

Professional Grade Cargo Shorts

"Without question, you're a big improvement on our last tour rep."

Airline Charges