Tonsillectomy Gifts

'His mother wants to know if you'll give him a haircut after you remove his tonsils.'

'His mother wants to know if you'll give him a haircut after you remove his tonsils.'

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

Happy Birthday to you.

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

An organ flies across the room during an operation - 'Catch it...!'

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

"This will be a tricky operation."

En garde!

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

"We've combine the recovery area with the gift shop... just in case your visitors want to pick up a little souvenir."

'Gee!' (doctor looking at x-ray)

"Gross."

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."