Tongue-in-cheek Travelers Gifts

"He decided to write a travel book..."

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

No-Work Orange

Robinson decided to name him 'Casual Friday'.

'Marriage? With all your pre-existing conditions Reggie, my HMO would never approve of you'

'Economic indicators are down, but cheer up! The history revisionists will turn this into 'the good old days'...'

'We have a clerical special to St Croix amd St Thomas...'

'I'm fairly certain it's, what we call in the medical profession, a 'snake'.'

Husband / Wife / On The Side

'Great now put the company logo on the togas and make the building in back look like the Parthenon.'

"I appreciate you asking for directions. But how reliable is 'Just follow your nose!' from a toucan?"

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

Having asked for some 'bruisers' to bruise oats for feeding horses, Mr. Haycock gets sent the 'Whitechaple Chicken' and the 'Bayswater Slasher'

"I said 'how about some dessert,' Andy. Dessert!"

Roman Golfer.

'On the plus side, you won't have to worry about me getting into an expensive college.'

'May I recommend the ketchup '06,sir?'

Burke and Hare and Hare

"I'm sorry you decided to leave us! I will really miss your wife at our company parties!"

"No Bald Games"

Excess Baggage: Most taxi drivers have GPS in their cars, but will still get completely lost when you are the passage.

"I bet if it hadn't smoked, it'd still be alive."

"All our vegetables are well done. It's a return to the old values."

"We've travelled the world looking for our next C.E.O., as was foretold in our corporate legends. We think your little Tim might be that C.E.O."

South America's mighty Amazon Basin.

"Why feel bad? We do actually need to eat, and they'll never even know there was a twin."

'You could get a bigger model, but you'd have to pay extra!'

'Look, just because I work for you, doesn't mean that I like you sir.'

'And this is a braille message for the blind.'

"Bob, you dope—you typed 'Esther Island' into the GPS."