Tongue-in-cheek Travelers Pillows

"He decided to write a travel book..."

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

No-Work Orange

Robinson decided to name him 'Casual Friday'.

Procrastinators Incorporated

'Marriage? With all your pre-existing conditions Reggie, my HMO would never approve of you'

'Economic indicators are down, but cheer up! The history revisionists will turn this into 'the good old days'...'

'We have a clerical special to St Croix amd St Thomas...'

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

'I'm fairly certain it's, what we call in the medical profession, a 'snake'.'

'Great now put the company logo on the togas and make the building in back look like the Parthenon.'

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

"I appreciate you asking for directions. But how reliable is 'Just follow your nose!' from a toucan?"

Husband / Wife / On The Side

Having asked for some 'bruisers' to bruise oats for feeding horses, Mr. Haycock gets sent the 'Whitechaple Chicken' and the 'Bayswater Slasher'

"I said 'how about some dessert,' Andy. Dessert!"

Roman Golfer.

'May I recommend the ketchup '06,sir?'

'On the plus side, you won't have to worry about me getting into an expensive college.'

"I'm sorry you decided to leave us! I will really miss your wife at our company parties!"

The Cheshire Dog.

Burke and Hare and Hare

"No Bald Games"

Excess Baggage: Most taxi drivers have GPS in their cars, but will still get completely lost when you are the passage.

"I bet if it hadn't smoked, it'd still be alive."

"All our vegetables are well done. It's a return to the old values."

"We've travelled the world looking for our next C.E.O., as was foretold in our corporate legends. We think your little Tim might be that C.E.O."

"Come on and pay for the shopping like a man."

South America's mighty Amazon Basin.

As you know by now know, we received dozens of replies to our request for suggestions to rename Rudy Park's generation. Today, we announce the third-place runners-up. That selection goes to a handful of readers who deemed Rudy's peer group Generation E for entitlement or entitled. Thoughts? I thought he E referred to easy to saddle with the deficit, you cheapskate curmudgeons! What do you think of that?! Solid retort. But we though enough to give it third place. Tomorrow: Our runners-up are anno

"Why feel bad? We do actually need to eat, and they'll never even know there was a twin."

'You could get a bigger model, but you'd have to pay extra!'

'The gentleman would like to buy you a drink if you'll follow him on twitter, and I'd be really grateful if you didn't explain what that means.'

'Look, just because I work for you, doesn't mean that I like you sir.'

'And this is a braille message for the blind.'