Tongue-in-cheek Economist Gifts

"The president wants me to stay on as unemployed."

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

No-Work Orange

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

'This financial report is frightening. Who wrote it, Stephen King?"

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

"The fish - will it be the market price at the time of ordering, the time of eating or the time of paying?"

"No, it hasn't, but when the sky does fall your investments are going to do very, very, well.''

'Economic indicators are down, but cheer up! The history revisionists will turn this into 'the good old days'...'

Trickledown economics

"Good to see they're trying to keep the high street vibe."

Aliens - 'We heard stuff is cheap here.'

Office of economic forecasting.

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'

'I suppose if we had some money we could buy sand from each other.'

'I feel I owe a lot to my country.' - 'So, you haven't paid your income tax again.'

The average taxpayer will ultimately embrace the auto industry bailout. Hell, we sold em all that useless undercoating for all these years!

'We buy and sell them.'

'It's the NEW Chinese Stock Market Report.'

Banker stepping into 'New image' in 'Savings and Loans' office

"The usual? Or will you be having our 'stimulus package'?"

'Oh dear. I seem to have put the decimal point in the wrong place again.'

'What can we do to reduce our spending?'

"That man's a legend in this office. He has 100% accuracy in predicting the past."

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'

'Someday, Son, all of this will be yo....!'

'Great now put the company logo on the togas and make the building in back look like the Parthenon.'

Government Handouts.

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'