Tongue-in-cheek Environmentalist Gifts

'I feel really close to nature with the wood-burning stove.'

Tree funeral.

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

'It's an extinction notice.'

Winter Weather.

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

"Plastic straws. No fish were spared in the making of this product."

"I've been dumping bodies here for years, and it seems to me that the sea level is rising."

Recycling bottle bank.

"If there is a heaven, why do we end up as fossil fuel?"

'I was hoping traffic would ease up after the polar ice cap melted.'

Trump to Build Wall

Have food. Need toilet paper

This is where Brent council sends you

"Brilliant! And then all they have to do is stop them flying at night."

'Apparently you haven't heard, Hawkins, about things going paperless!'

'It's a shame that valuable water gets wasted to wash cars or to take showers. It should be used responsible and for useful purposes only - for example to make whiskey.'

It's a recording contract from the whale's agent.

'How I love Global Warming... Otherwise, it would be necassary to look for a -BLEEARGH!- serious job!'

Food Chain Gang

"The president wants me to stay on as unemployed."

"I'm doing my part to conserve electricity."

Cactus Huggers

"Why the torch?" "It's the solar power for the bus stop!"

Global Warming.

Sign - Do not feed the bears. Bear - 'Those signs have caused a substantial reduction in weight, a lowering of blood pressure and a significant drop in cholesterol...'

'On the plus side, you won't have to worry about me getting into an expensive college.'

"They're nice, but not as efficient as my coal-powered chimes."

'And just what studies show that losing weight causes global warming?'

Boss, there's no toxic waste anywhere near the café, is there? What is this, the eighties? What's next, you're going to ask me if any whales or baby seals are harmed in the production of our coffee? Are you going to ask me to sing "We are the World" with Stevie Wonder? Are you going to ask me to film a "very special episode" about the dangers of dope? People didn't just care about this stuff in the 1980s, boss. Want me to get some Krazy Glue and fix the "hole in the ozone layer"?

'The Mayor is going to be thrilled -- I found a way to fill potholes with toxic waste!'

Vulture proclaims its love for highways; black and white version

'They can't help smelling like that -- they're biodegradable.'

North Pole with Sundial.