Toilet Paper Improviser Pillows

"I got toilet paper in the form of a brown paper bag."

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

Coronavirus: Consequences for the economy!

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

I break for toilet paper

"After being shorted on his bonus, Earl the maintenance man decided to remove all the toilet paper from the executive washrooms."

Have food. Need toilet paper

"No not the puppy please"

Do what you can to flatten the curve

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

A hand reaches frantically out a trailer bathroom door trying to grab a roll of toilet paper that's rolling away and down the aisle.

Creation of Adam

A new species just discovered in the Softwood Forest...The TP tree.

'If they don't want me drinking out of the toilet, what's this roll of napkins for?'

The Thinker Thinks of Toilet Roll.

"Hi, Honey, I went to that new wholesale store...and, boy, did I get a deal on toilet paper!"

Over. Under. Sideways. Kid.

"I can't come out, Mary is having one of her marathon cries."

Flush Direct

'I see you approve of our switch to Ultra Soft.'

'It was the only white thing I had.'

'You're so soft today. Did you switch to 2-ply?'

"It appears some faecal matter came into contact with some faecal anti-matter."

'It just hasn't been my day.'

"Measure twice. Wipe once."

Bears Going to the Bathroom in Woods.

"Here, try this on." "But mom, everyone's wearing three ply. I'll be a freak."

"Well, we've just run out of toilet paper, but I guess we can use our stock options instead."

"I figured my family could use a padded cell. Actually, I just buy toilet paper in bulk."

Toilet paper calendar

'The newspaper reckons there's a shortage of toilet paper.' - 'What would we do without newspapers?'

"Watch your step, it's a sure sign bears are around."

COWS: Cows weekly shop

"My neighbor's house got TPed, and doubled in value."