Toilet Paper Improviser Gifts

"I got toilet paper in the form of a brown paper bag."

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

Coronavirus: Consequences for the economy!

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

I break for toilet paper

"After being shorted on his bonus, Earl the maintenance man decided to remove all the toilet paper from the executive washrooms."

Have food. Need toilet paper

"No not the puppy please"

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

Do what you can to flatten the curve

A hand reaches frantically out a trailer bathroom door trying to grab a roll of toilet paper that's rolling away and down the aisle.

A new species just discovered in the Softwood Forest...The TP tree.

'If they don't want me drinking out of the toilet, what's this roll of napkins for?'

Creation of Adam

"Hi, Honey, I went to that new wholesale store...and, boy, did I get a deal on toilet paper!"

The Thinker Thinks of Toilet Roll.

"I can't come out, Mary is having one of her marathon cries."

Flush Direct

'I see you approve of our switch to Ultra Soft.'

'It was the only white thing I had.'

'You're so soft today. Did you switch to 2-ply?'

"I figured my family could use a padded cell. Actually, I just buy toilet paper in bulk."

COWS: Cows weekly shop

"It appears some faecal matter came into contact with some faecal anti-matter."

'It just hasn't been my day.'

Toilet paper calendar

"Here, try this on." "But mom, everyone's wearing three ply. I'll be a freak."

'The newspaper reckons there's a shortage of toilet paper.' - 'What would we do without newspapers?'

"Well, we've just run out of toilet paper, but I guess we can use our stock options instead."

"Watch your step, it's a sure sign bears are around."

"Measure twice. Wipe once."

"My neighbor's house got TPed, and doubled in value."

Toilet Paper Hill