Toilet Paper Whisperer Gifts

"Olga, have you warmed that toilet roll up yet?"

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

"This stool shall pass."

He can lean back in contentment on cowslip banks and let everything wash over him.

But there are other pleasures still for the fisherman's delight....for nature is everywhere about him.

"I'm sorry, Walter, but I need room to write."

He is happy to take almost any kind of fish...

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

Daisy Diaper Service

"If obsessing about trash is wrong, then. . . I don't wanna be right."

Two 'superheros' show the discrepancy in toilet paper production.

The trap

"What are you in for?"

'They used to call me 'Fluffy', but it's been 'Lucky' ever since I survived the spin cycle.'

"Stinking politicians and their dirty laundry!" "That's Bob. He's watching 'CSPIN', again."

"I thought I'd be quids-in but I can't shift the bloody stuff."

Books of Tablets

"Sure, I may be over the top, but at least I'm not underhanded like him!"

"I mean, he does have a point."

'Wow, swimming IS great exercise! The bathroom scale I put down here shows I'm 20 pounds lighter!'

"All right. Time to grow up."

Right little madam.

'If they don't want me drinking out of the toilet, what's this roll of napkins for?'

"I understand you're famous for your tantrums."

'So you just dry stuff? That's cool, I guess. I mean, it's not like there's some mystical force that could do that for you, like, I don't know... evaporation.'

"Next year we are committed to having a paperless office, and this is how we are going to do it."

Water: the first medicine

Fisherman get a good catch.

"I actually find this way of fishing very relaxing..."

'Wow! How did you catch something smaller than the bait you were using?'

"It's worth a try! Maybe someone up there knows how to fold a fitted bedsheet!"

"Wot? No toilet paper?"

'Maybe we should have ordered bottled water.'

"...so you then developed an addiction to buying toilet rolls. Wasn't that rather expensive?"