Paper Whisperer Gifts

"I'm sorry, Walter, but I need room to write."

'How can something so comforting in nature be so irritating in my office.'

Writing a letter

"Next year we are committed to having a paperless office, and this is how we are going to do it."

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

Concert Pianist.

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

Fixing the Computer.

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

Phil would get giddy after a large print run, but the company was saving a fortune.

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

'Are you done yet?'

Computer help.

Reading

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

Creator's Block

"I'm really great thanks. The boss loves my ideas, he says I'm ahead of my time!" "Hi John, how are you? Good meeting?"

"Love your feng shui!"

Books of Tablets

"Any beaver can cut down trees, but marquetry, now that's art."

"I'm in here, rereading the great poets, myself among them."

"Tell the employees that from now I want them to do as I say, not as I do."

Organ Player

"Dunhomin"

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

'I just don't understand what the big deal is about kiln dried lumber.'

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

'The contractor didn't do windows.'

A depressed artist imagines a drawing, but it turns black.

'This one's titled, 'Artist's Block'.'

'Loose lips sink principalships.'