Paper Whisperer Gifts

"I'm sorry, Walter, but I need room to write."

'How can something so comforting in nature be so irritating in my office.'

Writing a letter

"Next year we are committed to having a paperless office, and this is how we are going to do it."

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

Concert Pianist.

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

Fixing the Computer.

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

Phil would get giddy after a large print run, but the company was saving a fortune.

Reading

'Are you done yet?'

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

Computer help.

"Love your feng shui!"

Creator's Block

"I'm really great thanks. The boss loves my ideas, he says I'm ahead of my time!" "Hi John, how are you? Good meeting?"

Organ Player

"Dunhomin"

"I'm in here, rereading the great poets, myself among them."

"Tell the employees that from now I want them to do as I say, not as I do."

Books of Tablets

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

"Any beaver can cut down trees, but marquetry, now that's art."

'I just don't understand what the big deal is about kiln dried lumber.'

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

'The contractor didn't do windows.'

A depressed artist imagines a drawing, but it turns black.

'Loose lips sink principalships.'

'This one's titled, 'Artist's Block'.'