Toenail Polishing Pro Gifts

Mrs. Big Foot

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

"I told you not to polish the car too much."

"You're right, Pierre, they are licking their plates."

'Hows it coming?'

Bald man polishing head

Think I'll be a more effective alpha male if I learn to play pool? That's on of those things you always see an alpha male do: stand around a pool hall polishing his stick and racking up the balls.

'No, it's not a spit polish. I just really hate your shoes.'

'Great draft. It just needs a little exfoliation.'

"It's flu season, so you'll probably get sick. To repeat: You... will... get... sick. And when you do, there's Helpaflu."

Online Dating

"HEY!!! That's not my color!!!"

'Did you notice how her pink nail polish clashes with her red tricycle?'

Nail Clippers Circle Like Sharks.

Boot Camp. Barracks 18. This fluid is specially formulated to remove old polish from combat boots. Ah, a military solution!

'A f-funny thing happened on the way past a classic car dealer...'

"Do you file your nails..?

'Careful, I went absolutely mad and polished everything.'

Rudolph the brown-nose reindeer.

'OK Headmaster, now polish the other shoe...'

"Will these hooves ever dry?"

Your call is very important to us. It allows our nails to dry while we keep you on hold.

"The online part of the interview was yesterday."

Oxy clean.

Cosmetics Dept: 'Maybe you've been using paint, when you should be using nails...'

"Does this shade of nail polish make me look fat?"