Nail Polish Fans Gifts

"HEY!!! That's not my color!!!"

A Manicure

"I've invested in property..."

'Everyone's in a rush these days!'

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

"I wish you wouldn't keep going 'Vroom, Vroom'!"

Our manicure special today is 'Text Message Tips.' I contour your nails so you can hit all those tiny little keys!

Rabbit has cosmetically enhanced teeth: 'I always said that when I could afford to I'd get them fixed.'

'I give you an inch, Stanley, and you take a MILE. Whatever a mile is?'

'My best client? You must be kidding. When she comes I work like for four people but I only receive one person's tips.'

"I said I wanted to go to Stacey's Nail Bar."

"I've just been gazumped!"

Snail with lots of shells says: 'I've extended as far as possible, so there was nowhere to go but down.'

"No more ice cream cakes."

"No, I don't recycle."

Cuticles Ugly-cles.

"I'm not helping you out of the TAR PIT!! I might break a nail!!"

Emo Snail

'I think your 10 o' clock appointment's arrived.'

"Pedicure is booming, but manicure is dead."

'Did you notice how her pink nail polish clashes with her red tricycle?'

'It's about the 'air conditioning - Two weeks I've 'ad the car and I've still got split ends!'

I can hardly watch …

'I think I'll go for a leek!'

'What have I told you about body popping!'

Snail Estate Agents

"I knew we should have come sooner - now we'll have to wait forever to use the equipment."

"He's not in. Can you crawl back after lunch?"

Nail Clippers Circle Like Sharks.

Follow Your Quiff

'Women love their nails, so next time she suggests you get fixed, tell her only if she gets declawed.'

Husband - 'Honey, the Vandamyer's are here!' Wife - 'I'll be down in a minute dear! I'm just polishing my nails.' (Woman polishing metal nails).

'This will sting for just a minute.'

"Do you file your nails..?

An evolutionary turning point.