Timeliness Pillows

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

'Next day to the coast! You must be nuts!'

'Passengers are asked to evacuate the station as a train has arrived suspiciously on time.'

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

Late BroomStick

"If you wish to manifest here, you'll have to change. We don't allow anything past 1950."

"You keep impeccable time."

Sundial Time

Excess Baggage: When you are on a cruise and they say the ship leaves at 5:30, they really mean the ship leaves at 5:30.

"While you were out, Mr. Sundberg, the little hand went from the one to the three."

Employee attending a breakfast meeting in his pyjamas.

'Sorry I am late - have you been waiting long?'

Time Clock

Low self esteem workshop - 'You missed it. It finished two hours ago, you useless pillock.'

'Sir, that efficiency expert you hired called -- he said he'll be five hours late.

"I'm very good with punctuation."

'Safe!'

"You're so consistently late that you're pretty much doing my job and docking your own hours."

Please Leave by 9

Big Ben

"Sorry! Traffic was awful and also I left really late."

"Help! Set me free!"

"My appointment starting on time just went viral."

"So we`re going out and you haven`t even bothered to change?"

Internal Clocks.

'I'm not surprised - she's NEVER been on time yet!'

If you should be in this meeting, but are reading this instead - you're fired!

"Sorry I'm late for the breakfast meeting."

"Congratulations on your retirement Spencer. The team suggested a gold watch but I thought it more apt if I present you with the office clock you've been watching so much for the past 35 years."

Husband concerned about being late whilst wife has plastic surgery.

"Is that a new watch?"

Late for a date,,,

'You're late for our meeting again'

'Sorry I'm late!'

'Your wife came by and left a message'