Timeliness Tactician Pillows

"Sorry I'm late. I didn't leave on time."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

Golf lessons

"If I've timed this right, symptoms should start at exactly 9 a.m. Monday."

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

'We don't keep cash on the premises.'

"China Ministry of State Security Royal Infiltration Training Unit"

"We should take life one step at a time." "OK, but not right now...there's some dogs do-do right in front of us!"

Notice to travelers: 'Delayed' is the New 'on time'.

"I'm very good with punctuation."

"My appointment starting on time just went viral."

'Next day to the coast! You must be nuts!'

'Curses! My eyes were closed.'

Ready to move when the other guy blinks.

Colin had finished the 'One Minute Manager' and was now practising the 3467 minute tea break.

Office De-cluttering

Kangaroo to upside down joey: 'Once again your room is in total disarray!'

"I told them I was sick of working all hours...and that I intended to stick to my hours and get home to give my son a bath and bedtime book....unfortunately he'd turned into a 26 year old commodities broker while I was in meetings!"

Husband concerned about being late whilst wife has plastic surgery.

"I'm not attracted to him and we don't get along, but the timing is right."

"Isn't it about time you tidied up around here...?"

'Your wife came by and left a message'

"I can't remember - do I work at home or do I live at work?"

"Face it - there is no good time to get married, have children, and move to Jersey."

'So if it goes to the right it's a slice, to the left it's a hook...and down the center.'

'It's not what you buy. It's when you buy.'

'I was there the day we were married. Talk about bad timing.'

"I'm adding the laundry room and kitchen to your GPS. Judging by all the clothes and dishes in your room, you don't know the locations."

Sports Medicine

Coo coo clocks make a cats job easier.

"You're getting a time-out because Mommy needs a time-out."

Moon Vacuuming

"Yes, you can see the chairman this afternoon - have you ever done any caddying before?"