Delay Tactician Pillows

Notice to travelers: 'Delayed' is the New 'on time'.

"My hackers just collapsed your country's economy."

"Weather like this plagued my retreat from Moscow."

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

"If I've timed this right, symptoms should start at exactly 9 a.m. Monday."

"We're looking for someone who'll be available twenty four-seven."

'What a control freak!'

'Should I try a three point turn?' - 'Better not, we only have 30 minutes left.'

"We should take life one step at a time." "OK, but not right now...there's some dogs do-do right in front of us!"

'Curses! My eyes were closed.'

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

"Ok, boy, one more time, then I'd better get this thing back to the battlefield."

Ready to move when the other guy blinks.

'What else do you have going for you besides being aggressive?'

Martian Rovers find proof of intelligent life on the red planet.

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

'I went riding this morning. . . he got back before I did.'

'Your resume is very creative. It's all a crock."

The bus home.

"Your resume says you specialize in field work."

"I'm not attracted to him and we don't get along, but the timing is right."

"Face it - there is no good time to get married, have children, and move to Jersey."

Cars with cycles on roof are overtaken by cyclist with car on his back.

Wi-Fi password?

'Cap'n, why's the enemy fire so accurate after we deployed the smoke screen?'

'I was there the day we were married. Talk about bad timing.'

"I've got a rare, front-row parking spot. I know I can't stay here during the holidays, but I'm allowed to dream."

'It's not what you buy. It's when you buy.'

Driver under frustration - no parking, speed humps, speed cameras and petrol price signs.

"You're getting a time-out because Mommy needs a time-out."

'What's this?' - 'Your sealed orders, not to be opened till 7 furlongs.'