Timeless Tale Fan Gifts

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

Robinson decided to name him 'Casual Friday'.

Fishing Tales

"I think someone's trying to play games with us."

Thomas Hardy

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

Upper West Side Story

Paul Bunyan gets the leg-lengthening Operation

"That's right kiddo, I'm one of the original band members of the Musicians of Bremen..."

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

"Yes, I was using my mobile whilst driving... I was calling the police to tell them I was chasing a gang of bank robbers!"

'It's my latest novel, 'Hard Times' part 2.'

'All this is nuthin! There was one yeaw up noth...when it snowed fah two yeaws! I had t'dig down ten feet t'haul in my lobstah traps.'

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

"At long last, Wyatt, our dream has come true and we are within reach of the legendary toast fields of the Sierra Madre."

"Why do you automatically assume that I'll fly too close to the sun?"

'A boy! Standing on a burning deck! I bet nobody did a risk assessment?'

A Salmon Lie

'Take Gerald a cup of punch or something, I think he's feeling left out.'

"Pecos Bildungsroman"

"Once inside, the pawns will jump out and take them by surprise."

Captain Eddie's New Boat:'The insurance company laughed last year when I insisted on adding Kraken coverage.'

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

Circus trousers

'He doesn't exaggerate, he just remembers big.'

'That's right kids: I jumped through rings of fire when I was with the Circus!'

"Have you tried unplugging and plugging it back in?"

"So I break free and I swear that hook was this big."

'He's lying about either a fish or his penis.'

'I don't believe for one minute that an octopus crawled up last night and ate all the coconuts!'

"In your original statement, you said the fish was much bigger."