Time Travel Humorist Gifts

"The guy with two rocks said he'd be here to restart the fire between 10:00 and 4:00."

"But neighbor Schultz get ten." "Our toon get two likes." "Good grief."

The world's first mail piece delivered to the world's first address.

Prehistoric Pizza Delivery

"You can count on my unloading the dishwasher in any number of alternate timelines. Now whether it occurs in this one..."

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Airport Security.

Physician tending a mummy.

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

The Uber Ride of Paul Revere

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"Didn't you just say that?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

The leaning tower of Pizza.

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

Biliard Enthusiast

'Your luggage went to Bosnia-Herzegovina, sir, and I'm afraid they're holding it for ransom.'

"Really! A firecracker! Test his nerves! Where do you come up with these stupid ideas?"